Emir/Ivan Part 43
May. 15th, 2020 11:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emirandivanFirst posted here
The day felt like it had lasted five times longer than it should have, yet it was only mid-afternoon. It was a relief then to find Ivan’s rooms empty of visitors and the door to his studio ajar. Emir caught a glimpse of his husband with his red hair piled on his head and a paintbrush stuck in it, furiously mixing something with a palette knife.
“Emir!” he said as Emir came in. “How did the meeting go? You have been such an age. Our clothing for the ball has arrived and the tailor comes later for the final fitting. You must tell me what you think of the colour.”
He patted the front of his apron as if searching for something, then frowned and pulled the paintbrush from his hair. Emir sat in his usual chair with a relieved groan.
“Oh dear,” Ivan said. “Peter was his usual self?”
“He arrived ready for a fight,” Emir told him. He related the details of the meeting and the abrupt way it had all ended. Ivan looked more and more serious.
“So then what did you do? Did you manage to speak with Lady Temple?” he asked.
“No, not yet. I have been with Kanat,” Emir said. “I wish your mother would speak with Lady Temple, or Peter, or anyone at all in the delegation quite honestly.”
“I wish that too. What does your friend say of it all?” Ivan said, turning away and rummaging among some old canvases.
“He is angry of course. We didn’t discuss it very long,” Emir said distractedly, staring into the fire.
“No, I’m sure you had other things to speak of,” Ivan said.
“The Delegation are to stay for the Midwinter ball at least,” Emir said. “Ivan I have had an idea. Why do I not I have a meeting in my library? A small gathering to discuss how a way forward might be found. It might lay the way for better relations with the Court and Altuem. Don’t you think? Peter may not always think the way he does. There can be no harm in showing friendship I think.”
“Like a Salon,” Ivan said. “You will discuss political ideas.”
“Well you and I, I had hoped, but…you think this is foolhardy,” Emir said, searching Ivan’s face. “I will cause more problems than I solve.”
“Not foolhardy, just…perhaps incautious,” Ivan said hesitantly. “You cannot control what will be said in your rooms, and though I know your intentions, the Palace gossips. And your friend is very forthright with his thoughts. The two of you are so close, and…”
“It is not like that,” Emir said quickly, and not feeling entirely truthful. It might not be like that, but Kanat certainly wanted it to be, and it was only Emir’s hesitation which stood in the way of a full blown affair.
Ivan nodded, tightlipped.
“Even if it is not, I’m afraid the Court thinks it is,” he said.
And it was back round to this again. Emir suddenly felt very tired and impatient. “Surely this matter is of more importance than what Court is gossiping about this week,” he said, a little more snappishly than he intended. “And if Kanat’s views are on the radical side, then it is better for him to feel he has a voice.”
“You shouldn’t dismiss the gossip out of hand,” Ivan said sharply. “I am not telling you because I have a bruised ego that my husband might find the company of another man more appealing.”
“Ivan…”
“I am telling you because it affects both of our standings in so many important ways. I don’t know how it works in the Samatran court, but I do know how things are here. Give me enough credit for that at least!” he said, face flushed with anger.
“There will always be gossip,” Emir said, standing his ground. “There is Erden after all, and I am new to Court and from Samatra, and on top of that, disfigured. Every time either of us has a…a friend then the tongues will wag afresh that we cannot find solace in each other and that our marriage is a failure, we cannot let that stop us…”
“Gods, is that how you imagine people see us?” Ivan said in a bitter way most unlike him.
“It doesn’t matter what they see,” Emir said feeling his own temper rise. He stood and faced Ivan. “What matters is not letting idle tongues prevent us from doing what is important. Would you let the gossip part you from Erden for heaven’s sake?”
“Erden and I are not even…it is not the same thing! This friend Emir, this one in particular – can’t you see how Peter might use him against you?” Ivan said.
“I don’t believe Peter truly cares for politics at all, much less use them to cause me trouble. I am insignificant to him,” Emir said. “I know he likes to goad us about our marriage, but that is just for sport. You are giving me more importance than I have.”
“No, I am not,” Ivan said furiously. “It is you who does not understand your own importance! I do not warn you off only to prove to Court our marriage is a success, I am not quite that vain.”
“Our marriage is a success, Ivan,” said Emir angrily. “As much a success as a royal marriage arrangement can be. We accommodate each other, and I feel we understand each other – at least most of the time.”
Ivan glared at him.
“And…and I find your company very appealing,” Emir added awkwardly.
Ivan looked away. “Oh gods, I did not say all this to wring a compliment from you. You really do think me that shallow.”
“Why do you keep saying that of me? Do you think I don’t know you?” Emir said, his voice rising. “Yes, you are very beautiful, and you could charm the birds from the trees, but that is not all I see. I’m sad that you think it is!”
Ivan turned and looked at him, his grey eyes wide.
“You are much more than your face and your entertaining stories. You have passions for things beyond my understanding; you love art, you love life. You have the mind to be a great politician but you are too kind to succeed as one. You learn about the things that are important to the people you care about…”
“I…” Ivan began.
“Tell me again about the mating pattern of the Altuen eagle,” Emir said. “Or about Adric’s archery records or the ingredients of Pasha’s latest culinary obsession.”
“The beetroot was a mistake,” Ivan said.
“It was, but we’ll never tell him,” Emir said. He took a breath to steady himself. “So no, I do not think you vain, and I do not think your objection to Kanat is because of a bruised ego. If I have given you the impression that I find you shallow then I am very sorry for it. Perhaps we cannot agree on Kanat, but at least be clear on that much.”
He stopped talking abruptly, feeling that perhaps he had gone too far.
“You have been quite clear,” Ivan said a little faintly.
Emir nodded, his temper cooling as fast as it had risen.
“We um…we have the fitting. For the ball,” Ivan said. There was still a flush of pink across his cheekbones.
Emir nodded again, not able to trust his voice.
“I will go to prepare then,” Ivan said shortly, and left the studio.
Part 44
The day felt like it had lasted five times longer than it should have, yet it was only mid-afternoon. It was a relief then to find Ivan’s rooms empty of visitors and the door to his studio ajar. Emir caught a glimpse of his husband with his red hair piled on his head and a paintbrush stuck in it, furiously mixing something with a palette knife.
“Emir!” he said as Emir came in. “How did the meeting go? You have been such an age. Our clothing for the ball has arrived and the tailor comes later for the final fitting. You must tell me what you think of the colour.”
He patted the front of his apron as if searching for something, then frowned and pulled the paintbrush from his hair. Emir sat in his usual chair with a relieved groan.
“Oh dear,” Ivan said. “Peter was his usual self?”
“He arrived ready for a fight,” Emir told him. He related the details of the meeting and the abrupt way it had all ended. Ivan looked more and more serious.
“So then what did you do? Did you manage to speak with Lady Temple?” he asked.
“No, not yet. I have been with Kanat,” Emir said. “I wish your mother would speak with Lady Temple, or Peter, or anyone at all in the delegation quite honestly.”
“I wish that too. What does your friend say of it all?” Ivan said, turning away and rummaging among some old canvases.
“He is angry of course. We didn’t discuss it very long,” Emir said distractedly, staring into the fire.
“No, I’m sure you had other things to speak of,” Ivan said.
“The Delegation are to stay for the Midwinter ball at least,” Emir said. “Ivan I have had an idea. Why do I not I have a meeting in my library? A small gathering to discuss how a way forward might be found. It might lay the way for better relations with the Court and Altuem. Don’t you think? Peter may not always think the way he does. There can be no harm in showing friendship I think.”
“Like a Salon,” Ivan said. “You will discuss political ideas.”
“Well you and I, I had hoped, but…you think this is foolhardy,” Emir said, searching Ivan’s face. “I will cause more problems than I solve.”
“Not foolhardy, just…perhaps incautious,” Ivan said hesitantly. “You cannot control what will be said in your rooms, and though I know your intentions, the Palace gossips. And your friend is very forthright with his thoughts. The two of you are so close, and…”
“It is not like that,” Emir said quickly, and not feeling entirely truthful. It might not be like that, but Kanat certainly wanted it to be, and it was only Emir’s hesitation which stood in the way of a full blown affair.
Ivan nodded, tightlipped.
“Even if it is not, I’m afraid the Court thinks it is,” he said.
And it was back round to this again. Emir suddenly felt very tired and impatient. “Surely this matter is of more importance than what Court is gossiping about this week,” he said, a little more snappishly than he intended. “And if Kanat’s views are on the radical side, then it is better for him to feel he has a voice.”
“You shouldn’t dismiss the gossip out of hand,” Ivan said sharply. “I am not telling you because I have a bruised ego that my husband might find the company of another man more appealing.”
“Ivan…”
“I am telling you because it affects both of our standings in so many important ways. I don’t know how it works in the Samatran court, but I do know how things are here. Give me enough credit for that at least!” he said, face flushed with anger.
“There will always be gossip,” Emir said, standing his ground. “There is Erden after all, and I am new to Court and from Samatra, and on top of that, disfigured. Every time either of us has a…a friend then the tongues will wag afresh that we cannot find solace in each other and that our marriage is a failure, we cannot let that stop us…”
“Gods, is that how you imagine people see us?” Ivan said in a bitter way most unlike him.
“It doesn’t matter what they see,” Emir said feeling his own temper rise. He stood and faced Ivan. “What matters is not letting idle tongues prevent us from doing what is important. Would you let the gossip part you from Erden for heaven’s sake?”
“Erden and I are not even…it is not the same thing! This friend Emir, this one in particular – can’t you see how Peter might use him against you?” Ivan said.
“I don’t believe Peter truly cares for politics at all, much less use them to cause me trouble. I am insignificant to him,” Emir said. “I know he likes to goad us about our marriage, but that is just for sport. You are giving me more importance than I have.”
“No, I am not,” Ivan said furiously. “It is you who does not understand your own importance! I do not warn you off only to prove to Court our marriage is a success, I am not quite that vain.”
“Our marriage is a success, Ivan,” said Emir angrily. “As much a success as a royal marriage arrangement can be. We accommodate each other, and I feel we understand each other – at least most of the time.”
Ivan glared at him.
“And…and I find your company very appealing,” Emir added awkwardly.
Ivan looked away. “Oh gods, I did not say all this to wring a compliment from you. You really do think me that shallow.”
“Why do you keep saying that of me? Do you think I don’t know you?” Emir said, his voice rising. “Yes, you are very beautiful, and you could charm the birds from the trees, but that is not all I see. I’m sad that you think it is!”
Ivan turned and looked at him, his grey eyes wide.
“You are much more than your face and your entertaining stories. You have passions for things beyond my understanding; you love art, you love life. You have the mind to be a great politician but you are too kind to succeed as one. You learn about the things that are important to the people you care about…”
“I…” Ivan began.
“Tell me again about the mating pattern of the Altuen eagle,” Emir said. “Or about Adric’s archery records or the ingredients of Pasha’s latest culinary obsession.”
“The beetroot was a mistake,” Ivan said.
“It was, but we’ll never tell him,” Emir said. He took a breath to steady himself. “So no, I do not think you vain, and I do not think your objection to Kanat is because of a bruised ego. If I have given you the impression that I find you shallow then I am very sorry for it. Perhaps we cannot agree on Kanat, but at least be clear on that much.”
He stopped talking abruptly, feeling that perhaps he had gone too far.
“You have been quite clear,” Ivan said a little faintly.
Emir nodded, his temper cooling as fast as it had risen.
“We um…we have the fitting. For the ball,” Ivan said. There was still a flush of pink across his cheekbones.
Emir nodded again, not able to trust his voice.
“I will go to prepare then,” Ivan said shortly, and left the studio.
Part 44
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Date: 2020-05-15 12:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-05-18 08:53 am (UTC)